I was listening to some random songs in my Zune collection and ran across ‘Breathe Me’ by Sia. It’s very atypical compared to most other songs in my collection (which tend to be electronica of various sorts), and I listened to it again. I had added it in the first place after watching the Six Feet Under finale from a few years ago and being so moved by it. (I have *never* cried so hard at either a movie or TV show in my whole life before that. There’s only a couple times in my life I cried more PERIOD.)
It reminded me how amazing that finale was, so I tracked down the last 10 minutes of it on You Tube, and was surprised to find myself tearing up again, even after all these years, and watching that conclusion isolated from the rest of the show. It made me decide to order the complete DVD collection and watch the series again.
Why? It certainly had it’s frustrating stretches as a series, especially in the last few seasons, but it still is one of the best shows ever to be put on TV despite those flaws. I’ve been having thoughts of mortality, existence, relationships, etc etc all galloping through my head more than usual recently, and I think watching this series again would be an interesting way to explore what I’m feeling.
I also want to take some time to contemplate my relationship to BuddhaDharma, and what role I want to have that whole realm play in my life. Am I going to stay the “occasional meditator/dharma book reader” that I’ve been the past few months? Do I want to deepen my practice again? Do I feel there’s worth in diving deeper? How much confidence do I have in this particular flavor of the path?
It may seem I’ve rambled a bit from the topic of Six Feet Under. Despite my inability to tie it all together, these things are related in my head. Six Feet Under has much to say about life, emotions, time, relations, etc., all things that Dharma is intimately concerned with too. Watching it again should be both entertaining, and might function as a “jumping off point” for really exploring what I’m feeling, and where I want to go from here.